Who is me? While I still haven’t figured that out, I can tell you a little of what’s come before, in order to determine, perhaps, what lies ahead.

Nine to Five

My professional life, save for a short, painful, spell in sales, has been consumed as a B2B managing editor and journalist in the fields of fish – yes, fish – and solar energy or, more specifically, photovoltaics. For 2 years in between, I dabbled in SEO copywriting. Here, I learnt to become as bendy as a young gymnast, wading through such diverse subjects as big boobs, leather trousers, car insurance, credit cards, cancer volunteering, video gaming, holidays in the Bahamas (which I’ve never visited), franking machines and small business advice. I can, literally, write you a 500 word article, in under 2 hours, on pretty much anything.

After Hours

I’m a dichotomy: I thrive on contained chaos; a closed box full of squiggly lines. I like alliteration. A lot. And precise grammar. I also like to smash that precise grammar and recombine it in ways that shouldn’t be allowed. I’m naughty and rebellious and like to be told I’m a good girl.. I’m impatient; unendingly patient. EVERYTHING is connected. I’m a glutton, gorging on words and text. Registering every single letter, comma and colon, lest I miss something. Always misunderstanding, but wanting so desperately to understand. Linguistics excites me, communication theory makes my heart beat faster, composing pleasing sentences makes my palms sweat, and using words that sound like they should be right, but evidently aren’t, makes my synapses pop. Trepadatious. Pop. Dementedness. Pop. Cacophonious. Pop. Rules are fantastic; I fucking hate them. Push, as hard as you can. Sometimes you hear a stretch, sometimes a pop.

I told myself I’d write this in under 300 words. Well, who’s counting anyway.