Lost but not found

2014

I saw you lying
there lost
after a night out,
separated

from friends
partied too long.
Kicked to the
c
cu
cur
curb
beforefore dawn.

I thought.

Sweet face,
not too young
unmarked jeans black
hoodie:
Ganz normal.

Except there you were
again
the next
day and the
day after that.

Finally, I spoke,
asked your name.
Tom you
said. It’s a long story you
said. Nothing.

Except ..
maybe some food.

You didn’t look at me again.
I laid the food
down some clothes.
You pretended to
sleep, each
time

passed. I
wrote you a letter:
I had to
go away. I
couldn’t help
you anymore. But
here: Check this out.
Bus tickets are too much
He said.

I couldn’t help you anymore.

I didn’t think you’d
still be there after
summer ran off I
reappeared. You
saw me on the street,
looked me in the eye.

I didn’t think you’d still be there,
the cold creeping up.

Then you were
gone. Poof. I
was relieved,
lost no more.
Found

2015

I didn’t think you’d come back.

Last frost creeping dripping from your bed.
Our eyes
met
once again I tried to talk
you turned
away, haunted my

d
dr
dre
dreaa
dreamm
dreamsssss

Where did you go?
Who are you?
What
happened?

I searched online.
Someone must be missing
that face
well groomed, shaven.
Nails clean.

The sun scorched rain
pelted you
did not stir. Leaves
covered you
did not stir.
Icy fingers
clawed you
did not stir.

It was cold.
Cold. I
made Him go
out,
 poke you

were still there.

How can you
survive year after
year after..
Where do you go when
the cold becomes
too much?

I didn’t think you’d still be there.

Then you were, poof, again.
Gone. I
was relieved. But.
This time didn’t believe you were lost
no more.

2016

I didn’t think you’d come back.

The park so quiet
strange choice, no
begging no
contact with my world.

You lay cata
tonic for
hours. Months.
You did not stir
the summer air
Still

you were there

suddenly upright, frosty
fingers sending you shuffling
round the bush,
old bag of
skin
’n
bones

you’ve changed..

I couldn’t look at
you. Couldn’t
Help!

But I could. But I don’t. We
can’t, the email read.
I could, so why won’t
I? Why don’t
I?

——

The cold has
set in again. White covers
your bed
once more.
Where are you now?

The underground is empty this
time around
merry-go-round
as I board the train, dream chaser

Will you come back
again when the chill
has warmed and
the green fingers
curl outwards?

2017

No.

My dreams have changed.

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